What I Did On My Fall Break

I have one day.  Not even one day. I have five hours of child-free time.  Having all children in school, while my school is closed is like a blood moon phase in this house. They are rare and I pine for them like a wild animal.

How on earth did I spend my time?

I did two YouTube guided meditations.  I ran four miles. I passed not one, but two baby joggers and took note that I am not in that group anymore.  (Phew.) I did three quarters of a load of laundry. Ate an almond butter sandwich.  Made two phone calls.  Scheduled three well-visit appointments. Drank three cups of coffee. Took a shower. Shaved both legs; above the knee even. And  I had numerous complete thoughts. It was so quiet I could hear the dog breathing.

And it is now 12:32.  My four year old has to be picked up in 28 minutes.

The panic is setting in. You have 27 minutes left of your Fall Break.  That’s it. Did you do everything you needed to do? Did you do too much? Not enough? You won’t have these five hours again until early December. What were you thinking with the laundry?!  You should’ve finished it.  It’s never going to get folded. It will sit on that chair in the living room for days. Shaving, Andrea? Really? Two meditations? Who do you think you are, Buddha? You could've cleaned Stella’s room.  Her room…how does a seven year old girl play that hard to make her room that crazily cluttered? There’s no floor in there anymore. You were going to write today, and this manic chatter does not count. But no…you sat on the back porch with that third of coffee. Dear God, those papers are never going to grade themselves.  You just keep moving them around the house.  You could’ve graded while you drank the coffee on the porch.  It’s 12:42! You have to get in the carpool line soon or they will charge one dollar for every minute you’re late.  And you can't be late, because you haven't done anything. Tomorrow two kids will be gone, but HE will be home with you.  Your dear, sweet four year old who can melt your heart with his I Wuv Yous, but you know. You know whatever you got cleaned will never survive the afternoon.  And there’s no more break for you. 

It is OVER.

That second YouTube meditation was totally worth it.