The Things You Learn from a Post-Pool Chat

As I was dragging a very heavy (despite its minus one child status) red wagon behind me in the broiling heat of noontime, heading home from our morning at the pool, Heath walked beside me in his bare feet and Spider-Man bathing suit. He suddenly made a most important, life-changing declaration.

I'm not a tree tramper anymore, mom, he said heavily, as if he'd been giving this change a lot of thought, complete with a heavy head nod to indicate that this was significant business he was relaying. I'm a sign worker.

In the moment, I was mostly concerned with the extraordinary load of pool paraphernalia toppling out of the wagon. Stella rode cozily on her side, one hand on her new and priceless (except that it only cost $1.00 at the Rite-Aid) purple and polka dot swim ring, and her other hand holding on to her precious and equally (possibly more) important bowl of Trader Joe's version of the snack of Champions: Cheetos. As soon as I piled the wet towels, life vest, and enormous bag containing a plethora of sunblocks for the kiddies back into a mountain on the other side of Stella, and began trudging the Ropko train homeward again, I finally got the full job description for Sign Worker, complete with a demonstration.

At a quick glance, it might seem that it is little more than Heath hanging from a street sign, then giving it a good shake. But it is much, much more.

It involves a survey crew who comes first to the job site and checks to see if it's loose and needs to be tightened. Then they call on their cell phone and ask for a man named Stubby to come and bring a crane to pull the post out of the dirt. Then a man, Mr. DeGreggy, gets involved and tamps down the dirt and redigs the hole. At this point, they take a break from all their hard work, call their Papa to come help them, have some juice to drink, take their shirt off, then holler, Sorry, I have to get back to work. Lastly, a fellow named Les shows up with a front loader and crane to put the street sign back into the ground. Then they all go home for lunch and a nap.

Heath has an excellent future in governmental work, should he so choose.