Trash Day

Heath and Stella were awakened by the trash and recycling trucks rolling through around 8am this morning. They immediately had to look out the front window to see the action. They were also all abuzz about our running/playdate date this morning. The run was perfectly timed. Not too hot. Not too chilly. And I had not been out since Monday, so I was looking very forward to the getting out there.

And it was great to have the company today. Lately I've had this gnawing feeling of loneliness in my motherhood. Loneliness in my specific experiences, as of late, anyway. The weight of the responsibility. The worries. The questions. The doubts.

A few years before I had children, I was sitting in the dentist's office, waiting for my appointment. I always use that time to catch up on the news. Us Magazine and People are favorites, so I know this quote I thought of recently came from one of those periodicals. Why I remember this particular quote, by this particular person, I have no idea. But it read: If you never want to be lonely again, have children. This philosophical bit of eloquence came out of none other than a Ms. (Mrs.? Miss?) Pamela Anderson (Lee?).

At the time, it seemed like a lovely notion. And then I had children. I have since wondered about her seemingly sweet statement of truth.

Perhaps what she was trying to say was that you will never be alone again. I can attest that having children does leave little time to your own person. No activity is off-limits for an audience. Showers. Potty. Getting dressed. And many days leave me completely and utterly talked and touched-out.

Or perhaps she meant what she said. Never lonely again. Must've been the nannies.